Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2018

Guidelines issued for the Houston Trump rally.

The following set of guidelines have been issued for the upcoming rally for President Donald Trump:


  1. Arrive early. There will be long lines for security.
  2. Remember this is a family event. Your signs and t-shirts should reflect our commitment to family values.
  3. Do not bring confederate flags or nazi flags. If you do at the very least remove the pole. It will not be allowed into the event.
  4. No guns allowed either inside or outside of the venue.
  5. Do not threaten the media. Remember they have cameras.
  6. Women enter at your own risk.
  7. A small group of people will be asked to stand behind the stage. Please consider the offer or leave.
  8. No Mexicans (except for a few behind the stage)
  9. No Teachers
  10. No Muslims (except for a few behind the stage)
  11. No Federal employees including former FBI agents
  12. No Blacks (except for a few behind the stage)
  13. No Jews
  14. No non-Christians
Have fun. Enjoy the event and don't forget your high blood pressure meds.

Monday, October 01, 2018

Tales from Phone Banking: Houston Texans

Tales from phone banking:

Me: Hello can I speak to Mr. Smith?
Smith: This is he. What can I do for you? (Cheering in the background)
Me: I'm a volunteer with the Harris County Democrat.......
Smith: I aint gonna talk no damn politics! Da football game is on!
Me: Who is winning?
Smith: Texans but only by 7 points!
Me: They have the best talent with the worst record!
Smith: You telling me? Uh...what is this about?
Me: I am calling about your Vote By Mail application
Smith: Well if you call me ONE MORE DAMN TIME I will not vote for you! Who are you with?
Me: Ted Cruz for Senate.
Smith: Click 


Redialing.

Me: Hello may I speak to Mr. Smith?